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Milēs


Milēs
 
in my head i paint a picture 
of the girl who could always do the monkey bars/a picture of the 
earthbound awestruck boy who watches as 
his sister swings between jungle branches 
over lava 
lighter than laughter 
 
i can close my eyes and see the finish line across seventh ave 
the end of a race begun by the flashing red hand that screams 
do not begin to cross 
my big sister doesn't take no for an answer 
her breathless joy is a middle finger to the neon crossing guard 
who still blinks angrily as 
her first foot hits the half-eroded crosswalk 
 
Nowadays, my best friend who taught me 
curse words and crying and cross-multiplication 
carries keys to a Humvee and our name on her chest. 
 
People thank her for her service 
on the train ride home. 
 
Nowadays, I'm scared of North Korea. 
 
But she's always been a soldier, 
even before she got paid for it. 
She ducks low, plants her feet, 
and grabs her shadows around the knees. 
She tackles the unknown the ground and 
comes up laughing. 
I watch from the bench, scared to play. 
Scared I'd lose. 
 
Her voice warms my cheek 
through the iPhone screen. 
My eyes feel her absence, but 
 
in my head i keep painting her picture 
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