Mind Blown

What is happening to me? My mind is being ripped apart. Everybody is pouring their feelings into my skull. Pain and suffering are filling my head. I'm tired. Tired of hearing the screams. Tired of seeing people cry. Tired of feeling the hurt. I am laughing at them. (Am I crazy? Am I insane?) is my mind so full of negativity that I result in becoming a madman? Is this the destiny of a teenager? Who would rather watch the world burn than to see everyone bask in fake happiness.  Why do I feel like God is laughing at my struggle to become a better man than he ever was? Is it bad that I feel neither love nor hate from both God and Lucifer?  I feel like a cadaver. No pain, sorrow, hate, love, happiness. Just an empty shell of rotten skin. Waiting to be brushed away.