Mind Body & Soul

Am I wasting away? Have I got a better purpose? Today is a little more clear than the day before. From today on I'm looking for my purpose. Because I know my purpose isn't this. I wish I could look at her the same after these lies an betrayal. I really really tried too. I have a diffrent tune in reality that is a gift an a curse. More of a curse than a gift. I let someone in close being my wife an I still get messed over. How come she cant clear her conscience? I see it eat at her a couple times a day. My only assumption is were growing apart? Although I love her dearly I'm afraid i have no trust. Making me have too 2nd guess myself an act out of character or accuse. Why must I suffer for those mistakes she chose to do? All I wanted was a wife that respected an loved me an the biggest part is trust! How does she look me in my eyes an say I dont know or your crazy? I believe she is hollow she doesnt show any emotions beside anger. She's often angry toward me an just me. Sometimes over something I cant control. I'll pause here an refresh my mind body an soul. ZacharyEmpath