Mind Cycle

By: J.A.Easington

Normal.
I act like a normal person would.
I'm calm.
I'm collected. 
I am mildly happy.
I might not smile.
But.
I am happy.

Childlike.
I'm playful.
I'm excited.
And
Full of energy.
Im extremely happy in that moment.
All of my worries go away.
Until....
In a split second...
I become....

Serious.
No smile.
No laughter.
No emotion.
I stop and work.
And 
Do not cause any commotions.
I tune out the world.
And if bothered.
I become....

Angered.
Angry at everything.
Yelling and screaming at
Everyone.
Not wanted anyone to 
Talk or Touch me.
I stop.....
Feel bad.....
Then......
I become....

Silent.
Just 
Utter silence.......
Wanting someone to tell me,
I'm okay.....
Wanting to feel okay....
Not being able to feel okay.....
Lastly......

Depression.....
Memories come back....
My sadness extends over time....
I feel empty....
Goes on for days......
Might not seem like it.....
But I might smile.
It's fake...
I might laugh.
It's forced...
But I try....
So no one asks questions...
Hoping that they might see my suffering...
But they never do.....
But it's fine...
I can last....
I always do.....
But sometimes...
I feel like...
That time...
Will be my last....

Then I go back.
Normal.
Childlike.
Serious.
Angered.
Silent.
Depression.......
Will it ever go away?