Mindless Matter

My mind writes blank thoughts instead of thinking. 

It draws darker as the days proceed to the next, 

Proclaims war with my ego, against the vains in my neck. 

Like I'm supposed to be some kind of indestructable man. 

Spent my days trying to fit in, 

Now I'm lost trying to find myself in a hall of windows. 

You can see right through me. 

I know that I'm not who I used to be. 

But I dont know if tomorrow I'll be the same as I was the day before

and the day before the last, 

I change who I am as the hours pass. 

My brain switches lanes like Texas drivers with no singal, 

Lethal silence suffocates the will to read social cues. 

Regal egos drive my social fumes to Hell on a one way trip. 

It's difficult to explain what goes through my head. 

I cant think, yet im constantly overthinking. 

My consious is driving me insane because I can't hear it, 

Yet I feel it, 

Drawing at my feelings like a toddler tracing a marker from the floor to the ceiling. 

I can't keep up. 

I can't keep putting up with the madness, it's like it's attracted to me. 

Emptiness... is a very frequent, unwanted guest that just keeps making its way back to me, 

I can't find an escape to reality.