Mirror

Mirror, 

Do you lie to me? 

Do you tell me I am too 

ugly?

fat? 

skinny? 

Mirror, 

tell me. 

What you see

tell me who I am 

That stretch mark over there? 

I never used to have that

My legs are too thin

then they are too wide

My belly is concave and hollow

then overflowing and tight

"You are gorgeous and perfect just the way you are"

But the way I am is judging myself for not eating 

or eating too much. 

I am an apology is its prime. 

Always giving "sorry" and "it's my fault" 

Judgment. 

Seeping through every crack

every pore 

every cell. 

No. 

I refuse to live like this. 

this? 

This is unsustainable

This will tear me down brick by brick, 

mirror by mirror. 

I am ready to try

To try to breathe

and not judge

I am ready to try. 

I will cry and I will wail and 

I will pinch 

and poke 

and prod

But I will try. 

There is freedom in trying 

In having the mirror say something different 

A new narrative. 

It's time, Mirror. 

It's time.