I think it sucks that we only have mirrors and pictures and selfies to see who we are.

To see the light manifest itself in a way that shapes the reflection of our bodies and our scars and the things that scare us.

We are so close and yet so far from the truth.

We can mark a wall and see how tall we've grown but did we see it?

Did I have the opportunity to see myself grow into the hell hole of puberty?

No, because I didn't have the time nor patience to wait in front of a mirror.

But the way people manipulate it to see things clearer.

I don't get how covering up fear makes the world easier to bear, everyone screams for others to care but  forgets to love themselves.

Inside theres a pot waiting to boil your love in soil and if you don't have a good base then your product will spoil and rotten, another piece of you forgotten.

But you cant see in a mirror what others see in your eyes as you cry for infinity to reach out and wrap you up forever because forever will give you time to find out that a mirror is just another excuse for a rhyme.

So mirror mirror on the wall, why do make me feel so small?

As if my reflection was my curse.

Another man made appliance to remind me how I've looked worse.

But nothing to fear when I've got consealer in my purse.

It doesn't matter.

Because when I sit down at night and wipe away the fear I've hidden so well

I see tired eyes that will never be satisfied with a 2D image meant to be sexualized .  

So I analyze the things that could be modified but no matter how hard I try im still the same inside.

And it would be fine if you could see me first.

But it seems I was defected sewn with my seams in reverse.

Always to be rejected by first impressions failing to see beyond the imperfections of my skin that is only protecting the one thing I've always believed in is my ability to write how I'm feeling.

A pen and paper is all I need and

I feel beautiful when I'm dreaming

the only problem is that you can't see them.

I envy the ones who find their canvas on their face where I find mind on paper because when they feel beautiful they can see it.

When I feel beautiful, you can only read it.

And thats just not enough for me.

These days mirrors and pictures and selfies have not been enough for me.

All these tools in my bag have lost their consistency.

The quotes I find online are just made for sympathy, one way or another I have to drop all this negativity and learn to love myself unconditionally.

While I may not feel pretty every time i see my reflection I can always blame the lighting nevertheless the perception.

Not necessarily the angle but whats hidden beyond a physical depiction.

I know for a mirror to see my heart would be out of its jurisdiction.

Im more then the skin on these bones and if you live life like your eyes are mirrors then leave me alone.

I don't need your eyes to reflect lies based on a non existent space between my thighs.

I'm worth more than the size of my jeans and all the makeup I could buy.

And if you can't see behind this disguise, I'm letting you know so it's not a surprise.

But I've always felt beautiful inside.

Something I feel I'm forced to hide.

But why?