Misery

The damage is real and I'm living through every minute and second No matter how hard I try To force all these negative thoughts out of my head, they have hooked themselves onto me so tight... I always second guess myself. I always doubt myself. I always think I'm never gonna be good enough for anyone or anything. These are the moments when those words you said come seeping in through each of my every pore.. gripping me by my neck and making their way down my throat... It may seem like so long ago but those words spoken has left a permanent blemish inside of me... I had asked for nothing but protection and affection I had asked for nothing but love I had asked for nothing but be my pillar of strength Instead I was your wall of shame I was your dumping ground All you wanted was to bring me down Every little mistake of mine magnified... There was no room for forgiveness or worse no room for acceptance... I was made to feel that my mistakes are all that you know of me and that I owed it to you that you were still with me despite everything that is wrong with me... My voice was quietened over the years and finally it has silenced... Was this what you wanted? Was this what you set out yourself to be as my man? You never gave me a chance to believe in an everlasting love and now I can't bring myself to believe such a thing exist...