Mistake

I erase the markings 
that I make on myself 
to match my own self-image 
Just a minute, one minute can 
make all the differance, when 
I come crashing down from 
whatever ledge it was that 
I was holding on too, 
You can't see me for who 
I am, you will never know 
what I will not tell you 
I am coming down 
and when I get there 
I will not return 
I will not resurface 
I am not alive 
I am not the same 
Everything gets altered 
Everything gets rearranged 
I can't see through the crud 
and the spite, I distance 
myself in the night and 
I am fearful for my life 
I may cut the cord that 
holds me to this vacinity 
and attaches my every
entity to this lifeless 
building and horrid 
place that we call 
         Home.