Mom

Hello?

Are you free to talk to me or is it another day that my phone doesn't ring?

Can you understand that I miss you dearly and the very fact you can't comprehend drives me insane?

Or was I already this way?

You see, nothing can replace the love you refused to give me, espescially when I cried for you.

No one to tell me what I did that wa wrong, no one to have comfort given to.

Just a cold echoing silence of you weren't good enough for my love.

Whole heartly I adored you growing up as things got tough, I got tougher for you.

Refusing to cry, refusing to listen to the lies they told me.

Do you remember when I yearned to be at your side at night, do you even care?

I feel as though in your eyes my rights will forever be wrong and I will never be good enough for you.

My mind plays these records of records of all the games you would play. 

Thats why I keep coming to this place.

A place of regrets, fears, darkness.

I don't want to think of you that way, but everything you've put me through is more than enough to put you in the darkness of my mind.

I wish I could've been better to you those days where I couldn't be found.

You got tired of looking for your missing child.

But, I never get tired looking for reasons to not let go of you.

I hope I can still make you proud.

I hope there is hope for this missing child.

I want to come back home, but I don't even know where home is anymore.

Please don't leave me cold. I can't stand it when I am alone.

Are you okay?

Did I do something wrong to make you want to send me to hell where you say I belong?

I don't even know what to say.