To Mom and Dad

Dear Mom and Dad,

This is your child, the child who outdoes the other children though isn’t enough.

I am the child that amazes you, the child that makes you proud or feel good about yourself.

I am the child that has a perfect attendance and gets straight A's.

I am the child who goes the extra mile to attend tutoring so that I can understand that one math equation.

I am that child that participates in clubs, sports, and programs.

I am that child who comes home tired, but still cleans the living room to make it more breathable.

I am that child who gets homework done at 1 o'clock in the morning sipping on a plain cup of coffee.

I am that child that wakes up at 5 AM to get ready, to make breakfast, and to leave for school.

My day begins: another cycle of disappointments.

But sometimes I wonder, Mom and Dad.

Am I “your” child who outdoes others?

Am I that child that amazes you?

Am I that child who makes you proud or feel good?

Because you never acknowledge me throughout my busy day.

I've never heard a single word of encouragement come out of your mouth.

I never hear "Are you okay?" just once in a day.

But you never speak, so I keep questioning if I'm good enough for you.

I try not to disappoint you.

I'm afraid to make you feel ashamed, so I spend my whole day to make you feel proud.

Yet, it seems that you're still not moved by this, so I fall hard onto the ground with running thoughts that you don't care and that you've never cared.

I cry and shed tears, tears of sorrow, tears of despair, tears that you will never see or hear.
 

But I'll keep on hoping that one day you'll see me on top of the world and you’ll finally be proud of me.

You'll smile and cry at my feats, of how strong I have become.

For the time being, I will wait.

I will be patient and try to escape, escape reality and escape my fate, so maybe I can escape this ache.

Love,

Your Child

Wasana Vang