The Moment
The moment I knew I went from child to woman
Was when man entered my mind and set about eternal destruction
I found peace only when the fire was controlled by me
But it wasn’t me, it wasn’t me
The real moment I knew I went from child to woman
Was when I found the loophole I’d spent years looking for
I finally found it but I had to break some rules
I knew I was an adult when I felt desperation
I knew no child would understand the complexity of that feeling
People think it’s simple until they actually feel it
Few even truly know what it is to be desperate
It’s when you’d compromise your own standards, your own morals to escape from it
I knew I was an adult when my vision grew clouded
I only saw what I needed and spent every moment looking for it
With desperation comes determination because we only have one option
Called to the front, our ancient sense of do or die
I knew I wasn’t a child when that entered my mind.
I let nothing distract me, so many nights were spent sleepless
Each day spent walking in a dream-like nightmare
So vivid and terrifying but oh so far away
I had to do, I had to fight
Or I had to fly, I had to die
My options were very limited.
But then again we can never name the moment when we went from child to adult
I’m still a child full of hope
But I have been an adult, I have been desperate
But there is still a secret child inside us looking for the light
I was never the most optimistic little girl
I would look around and think I would burn the world
(if i didn’t someone else would)
Even as a kid I knew I had to get there first
I didn’t ever want to be the last one on earth
I knew from a very young age I didn’t want to be the one watching the world die
I knew from a very old age I was never that naive
But things still took my attention from me, I think that’s how I knew I was still a kid then
Us adults, we function on a single mindset
We strive for what we want and accept nothing less
It takes a real adult to be content with anything thrown at them
So even though I have changed I’m still that same kid
I know different things but in the end they’re all worthless
What I understood then but not quite so much now is:
Should the kid inside survive or
Should we suppress it?
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