Mommy Dearest

Because i love you

I'll call you ugly the day you decide your cut your hair shorter than your brother

I'll rip the flower crown out of your head when you're fourteen

I'll call you a whore when i see you've discovered feelings at the age of sixteen

I see you make all these mistakes and i correct them

For when i had you, you were a reflection of me

Your successes and failures

Because i love you

i'll save our reputation

Because you loved me

I would cut my hair short so noone can tell my hair was falling out

Whether  it was from the stress of the constant pulling i'll never know

I would refuse to ever put anything into my head

Under fear that i would be less than a wallflower, if anyone noticed me it would never be for a good thing

I let you push me back in the closet and make me repeat that i only like boys

For having connections with the soul means nothing if they don't have the right organ

You saw characteristics in me that you didn't like and tried to change me

All oddities became your failures

Because you loved me

You tried to change whatever damaged your reputation

But because I learned to love myself

I grew out my hair

For every strand that goes in front of my face makes me realize that i am in charge of my own decisions

I made my head a poster board

Ready to be decorated whenever i chose

I am slowly finding the difference between love and lust

No coming out party necessary, my brother never needed to come out as straight so why should i come out as queer

Because I love myself

I know nothing else matters

Unless i am happy with it

Not her

Not anyone ever again