Money
Oh money, how I love you, how I worship your crinkly verdure, your crispy capitalism, your innocuous presence. Why then, did I forget to go to work yesterday robbing me of your sweet pleasures with which I would kiss the hands of consumerism? Bow down I must, to the payment of bills and accessories of wanton decadence, for birthday presents don't come cheap when thou must shipeth them as well.
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