A Monkey's Proposal


United States
47° 26' 27.0132" N, 121° 37' 31.1052" W

To the man who called my brother a “monkey”:
For you, I have crafted this modest proposal
You may come and study my family’s tree
Fourscore and seven simians are here at your disposal

Look— see how we swing from limb to vine,
Strange fruit with long, ungainly arms
We are the refuse of all mankind
But you can teach us human charms

I understand that where you live
You’ve found my distant relatives
On the Oprah Network, and in D.C.
Instead of the zoo, where they really should be

For we are the descendants of troglodytes
And can have no use for civil rights
Deliver us back to the good old days
When monkeys swung and white was might

With you to keep us in our place
We won’t forget who’s number one
If you label us the lesser race
We’ll never leave our forest home

Please stay with us, and be our king
We’ll bow to you and treat you well
And we won’t understand a thing
When you tell us all to go to hell

You, our master; we, your slaves
Bound to give our best to you
Isn’t that the life you crave?
Monkey see as monkey do

If only I weren’t colorblind
Like every member of my kind
Perhaps I would see red, or green
Explain to me what “monkey” means
Show me what is on your mind
Teach me to cower, to stay in line
For I lack the knowledge to understand
The concepts you, as human, can

Do you realize just how right you are?
I hope that you shall see
When you find my brother, stop your car
And drag him to the street
For only a man so noble of face
Could master your language
With such effortless grace
The clever way you play with words
“Monkey!” you shout, as you strike him with boards


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