The Monster Inside

I've tried so hard to cover the wounds so no one can see my pains from yesterday but they won't stop bleeding I cover my whole body but the blood still drips

                                                                                                    drips

                                                                                                    drips through and makes a puddle around me, makes a river and I feel it taking me away. It consumes me until I cannot see my feet...my knees...my waist...my face. I'm drowning in this river, waiting to be saved. But this happens every day and no one ever comes

I am alone.

My insides are dying. I can't breathe. I can't speak. No one seems to notice. Do I want them to?

My fear is not of drowning but that the blood is the same color as my heart. I try so hard to do right, say right, be right, and yet the words come at me like knives. I'm struggling to stay alive. I am not perfect. I never will be, so please stop hating me. I have faults, but so do you, so please stop screaming at me. 

I don't reveal my story. I don't reveal my song. I don't want the world to know that I am always wrong.

You've made me weak. You've made me strong. You've made me terrified of me, and who I know I could be, because deep inside my soul there's a monster waiting to break free.

See I don't fear the darkness and I don't fear the pain. I don't even fear your words that make me go insane. I fear there's no escape, no way to be free. I fear it is too much for someone to love me for me. I fear you're right that I don't deserve anything that makes me happy. I fear the anger will consume me before I ever get the chance to

                                                                                           Break

                                                                                Free