The Monster is Waiting

The monster is waiting.  I can hear it crawling. I can hear it's breath. I can hear it racing. And it carries death. The monster is waiting. It's hidden deep within the recesses of my mind. It waits. Patient and growing. It crushes the new leaves sprouting every time. The other part of me is still trying to fight without knowing. The monster is waiting.  The other part of me is light. It's new and it's clean. It's trying to escape the monster's constant bite. In its eyes, it sees the possibility of a forest evergreen.  The monster is waiting.  The monster has been around for a while.  The monster is something that I don't want to realize. The monster seeks to permanently falsify my smile. For the monster, you see, is me with a different pair of eyes. The monster is fighting. I'm at war with myself. I feel like I have no control, Like there is no self to choose. I want to be true to my soul Because it's the one thing I refuse to lose.