Nadir.

 

My body leaves large craters in the depths of my bed sheets

My blankets cradle me

They´d protect me like a fathers locked arms in a teary child's eyes

But what do we do when our fathers can't defend the monster that hide under our beds any longer

Maybe if I just gripped the comforter a bit more,

and turned my covers into a fort

or shut my eyes tighter

The monsters under the bed would leave me alone. They would just go.

But they never did, they just manifested with age.

They leeched around me,

draining me of my freedom to breathe,

cushioning me with empty hugs,

They make me medicate them with drugs, just so I wouldn't have to hear them scream

They leave me deserted until my bones are hollow and weak,

rusted, they wither

then ache

Hoping one day that I’ll break

 

The sweet chimes of a siren, my dreams sing

They ring endlessly.

They have now become a boutique of flowers that continues to decay

My dreams once nourished by parents and teachers who watered my fascination,

planting new seeds until the leaves were glimmering green,

and the roots were as strong as you could only believe

they began to cripple with age,

the petals now torn don´t reform

and the flowers only grew more thorns,

while trained gardeners bashed it for not making any money.

I wish it had been true, that dreams were able to be reached if you just believed  

At least that's what the disney princesses kept telling me

but the monsters never lied

they would just recite things I didn't want to hear twice

they made sure to remind me every night until my dreams were broken

wishing to hide in the snug arms of a father that couldn't save me.

But still told me that when the lights turned on the monsters would all be gone

that that would be thee end

But I couldn't tell him that the monsters made me their new home.

They have already latched on, isolating itself inside my mind

When hitting 18 the doctors told me these monsters were anxiety

And I couldn´t run or

hide underneath my bed sheets

Because these monsters were already apart of me

And now It was time to be the adult that hugs children abouts what hides in the dark