The Moon is Out and I'm in Pain

The moon is out and I’m in pain.

What am I supposed to do when I cant think, and scars remain?

Everything I spent so long building has fallen and burned to ashes. My heart rots under the weight of lost emotions.

Forgive me for the misery I caused you. Believe me, it’s true I love you.

Love never dies but my soul is still mourning.

The sun will rise again but I won’t make it ‘till morning.

Holding on is hurting me, but I still can’t let go.

I cant let go! Not when I know the cold is coming and all the lovely sonnets that to this day live untold lurk in my mind driving me insane because I see your pain and you walk away from the warm hand that I extend to you.

And still I say “One day. One day! I know one day it will all make sense!

When the dust has cleared and the sound of trumpets mark the end of conflicts both internal and external, of wars fought over the captivation of a being, and vivid memories of bitterness and feelings of worthlessness.

I’m sorry, but the overwhelming thirst for meaning has led me to you.

No words can explain the loss I am suffering having to depart and down a road marked with change and unprecedented events.

No tears will ever be bitter enough to capture this moment.

As I pour my soul on to this paper I can only think of the face I encountered on a beautiful evening.

I don’t know what to do.

I am surrounded by the abyss with only my thoughts for companions and all I can do is think of where I went wrong and what I could have done to make all this better!

And that voice comes back to me screaming in my ear “Do you remember that feeling? Did you forget about me? We used to be good friends!!!! You used to believe everything I told you!!!”

All I can do is surrender to my thoughts and let them take me on a journey,

A journey where the moon is out and I’m in pain.