More

I wish there was more

More than a glance in the hallway or an unopened message

More than the unreturned feelings I have towards you that make my chest hurt and my eyes burn because I know you don't give me a second thought anymore

More than what keeps me up through the night and keeps my mind racing and keeps me from thinking straight

More than one night in a closet or the back of your car

More than the words you speak that send shivers down my spine and leave me thinking for hours

More than a kiss, a feeling, and nothing else

More than the sweatshirt I never gave back or the way you used to hug my so tight I felt like I would pop

I wish there was more than the pain I get when I see you with someone else that makes you happier than I ever will 

Or what goes through my mind when your name passes over her lips

And this is so hard for me to keep up with because it hurts everyday to know what could have been. 

.

.

I want more than deleted messages and the way we used to laugh and the long list of missed calls 

And pictures from all the fun we used to have

More than slammed car doors and late nights that barely lasted

More than the laughs and screams and cries and late night calls that were muffled because we didn't want anyone to hear

And I feel left abandoned and thirsty as if I am deprived of something I deserve

But I know you didn't have anything left to give when I was cut out of your life

And nothing can fix or remove the feelings you gave me but I can't and won't and refuse to let them leave my mind 

Because you left me with feelings that I can't put into words 

And I never want to let go of all the good