MORE THAN A NAME

Someone wise once said, "You are more than your name, your frame and you're DNA." As I sit and reflect on my 18 years of life, I have recognized an enormous change within my self. I was brought up in a vile isolated environment that caged me from experiences significant to my childhood. This isolation ultimately shaped my outlook on life and my perception of what kind of life I wanted to make for myself.

I am a rebel defying the constraints of my upbringing. My name is Alexus Bloodworth. I was born in, Syracuse, New York. I spent at least 9 years of my life there before my mother and I left. I would describe myself as a very loving individual and I adored my family so much. My family is one of those families that are wild and chaotic. The fact that they were so crazy is one of thee reasons I loved them so much. My dad and my uncles were like the kings of the family. They controlled where we went whom we spoke to and what we could do. We did not have friends because their last name was not Bloodworth and loyalty and family is what we were taught mattered.

My so-called family had demons. They stole to survive. They also fought to maintain what they thought was order and control, which lead to a life of destruction and prison terms. Violence plays a big role as to why many of them are in prison today. This molded my outlook on men and the type of woman I wanted to become the type of woman I am today. I have an independent mind. I do not believe in male dominance. I feel as though anything a man can do in terms of providing for ones self and protection I can do just as well.

I often take on the feeling of others when I see them hurt in order to relate. I also know how to separate myself from those feeling in order to help them which is why I chose the profession being a psychologist when I graduate. My family is a loving family and music and art always brought us together. We can relate to the lyrics within the song. Most people do not know that my family is talented, I have people in my family that are great artists and Poets this explains where I get my talent of writing from. When I say they are extremely talented people they are. However, they cannot rid themselves of the negativity. My family has made a name for themselves where I am from. It is so bad that the police department in Syracuse, New York know all my uncles and dad by name. As a little girl, I liked the name only because people were afraid of it. My name shielded me from bullies and other people. At the time I thought it was cool that people where scared of me, but I came to the realization later on that it only prevented me from making friends and experiencing new things.

My goal in life is to be better than my name. In my hometown, my last name Bloodworth is labeled as a criminal family. I am not a criminal. I am not abusive. I am not a thief and I will not sit around and waist my talent. I will not be a product of my environment. I want to clean up the legacy of my family's name. I want the pattern of ignorance to stop starting with me. My achievement in all of this is that I am going to graduate from my high school with honors and I am going to go to and through college. My achievement will be that I broke free of my families cycle and I am no longer defined by there past mistakes. My Bloodworth name will be FLAWLESS!!!