I wake up early to my standard annoying alarm reminder to start my day.
I feel like there is an overwhelming amount of responsibility that is causing myself dismay.
My thoughts are so consumed by someone like my sister and part of my family tree.
She had so much want and will to do good yet set it all free.
One day she unlocked a door in front of her and used drugs as her key.
Did she choose the right path even though it's nothing like me?
She no longer has structure in her life or deadlines she has to make.
Is it wrong that I envy her and wonder how much more can I take?
I stand there indulging in my selfish thoughts and ready to follow her path.
Then I hear footsteps from my son and he shouts "Look Mom, I scored 100% on my Math!"
I smile to myself and realize it's a reminder of my purpose in life.
I really do enjoy and love being a great mother, aunt, and last but not least a wife.
See the person like my sister has left me with the responsibilties she once had.
Her children who are great kids yet until today I could not help but to be mad.
Until this morning I was so angry at her and let it consume my daily tasks.
When really I was being no better by hiding my emotions behind such negative masks.
I feel bad for her and what she's missing out on - I have an amazing life here.
My children, my husband, and her children all I hold equally dear.
Finally feeling awake and back to the way I used to be, I pray to God and thank him for not allowing the disease of addiction to take over me.
Maybe someday she will wake up and want to come back.
Hopefully she knows she will not be judged or under attack.
I hope tomorrow she does not wake up to harm.
Sara please come back to the standard annoying alarm.