mortar and pestle

tepid water filling teacups 

lukewarm (like your feelings?)

but if there’s so much of it

does that outweigh the problems with the temperature? 

I could feel loved by God when I see your face

I could.

but sometimes I only feel hurt.

why do I feel like you already know that?

i feel like safety is too much to ask for anyway

what 19-year-old can grant safety and peace to themselves 

let alone a lover?

I feel like I ask for too much, feel like you won’t tell when i do 

feel like you miss out on things, too

like maybe you don’t want to be a part of them anymore 

are you thinking about how she knew her wife was the one? 

i’m thinking about how you could be if you only thought i was.

a tiny corner of the future is wrapped up in this terrarium 

crudely assembled, scratched, but shiny

I even know where it goes, I even know what i’ll grow inside it

and tomorrow i’ll find what i need to water it

maybe nothing else knows

but a tiny garden, a tiny glass box of life

will be enough to talk over the questions tonight.