Mother In a Mystery

The baby was tucked into bed,

Quietly breathing, slightly smiling

The mother was laying down right beside her,

Mentality breaking, silently wondering

Wondering on why she didn’t feel glad

She’s a second time mother,

But she wonders when the wave of happiness will come crashing on her

This feeling is unfamiliar,

This wasn’t the way she felt with her first kid

She knows she isn’t picking favorites

It might just be her

What is it that she did?

“Nothing, I did absolutely nothing

Despite the company of my children and my husband

I have been feeling lonely

I have been feeling trapped

I need to reconstruct my mood

I need to join my daughter with a nap

I’ve just been overthinking

Going through the same thing in this house

I need to speak my thoughts

I need a way to blurt it out

But I don’t want to shout it out

I want to send my message

To someone with the same sour taste in their mouth”

Her head turned to the left

As she heard a vibration

She thought she was going crazy

It was a Twitter notification

Maybe that’s the answer they’re trying to send

Maybe there IS others like her in the world in their bed

Take a deep breath, relax

The internet isn’t so toxic

There are those that try to stop it

Some of those work on helping those that want it

Get on it, missy, don’t knock it ‘till you try it

If it doesn’t go as planned, then try again

Negatives are utter nonsense

Extending her arm, she reached for her phone to unlock it

Let’s give her some time to focus on getting connected with people she can connect with

“Wow, I can’t believe you were right

It’s been a couple of minutes,

I found some people that were kind enough to share their thoughts and then listen to mine

They were not selfish

They too dealt with anxiety and told their difficult stories to me on their road to get cured

Texting for hours on end, we got to share our own words

Getting lost in the void made me feel regret that I’ve ignored digital knocks on my door

I’ve made much more progress,

I learned about the #SemiColonProject

Now it’s time for me to be a part of those that offer guidance

Offering guidance to those who don’t know how to even start to try it

I talked to my husband

He was my counselor

That Twitter app provided a boost to be a lot more happier

Now I’m back to being a grateful, happy mom

Thank you inner voice,

You have done a great job”