Mourning Birds

Lately I've been thinking of you a lot,

Reminiscing about the old times.

My mind getting lost in that bittersweet spot,

My memory filling with your beautiful chimes.

Sometimes I have this urgent need to speak with you,

To share a story or problem,

When it seems like the world blew

Me down to rock bottom.

Soon I will graduate high school,

And looking into the pulsating crowd

And not seeing you will unroll the spool

Of pain and despair in a cloud.

Soon, Felicia will have a little boy

And your absence will hover,

The yearning for you will destroy

The fragile, false façade of my cover.

The rapid arrival of Christmas Eve

Brings the anniversary of your death,

Overrunning my memory,

Stealing away my coherent breath.

I have read the many words 

That say not to let yourself dwell 

With Mourning's faithful birds,

But the beat of their wings make my heart swell.

I wish you can come back,

Even for a single day,

Though it would halt my track

Of moving on from your final dismay.