Mourning the Loss of Someone who is Still Alive

Dear Dad,

You tried and you tried

You tried so damn hard

To shove your toxicity down my throat

You stole my childhood

You put me through hell

Bargained my sanity you thought you could sell

The issue is that you don’t know the new me

I put back the pieces you broke back differently

Unapologetically and authentically

Resilient and strong

Unforgiving and empowered

You no longer have power to tell me I’m wrong

Make me feel weak

Weak and defensive

Tread on my values 

As if you have the power to judge them

No matter the damage you’ve done to my self-esteem

I’m saddened that you will never know what unconditional means

To love a human with all of your being

Rather than loving on terms you are pleased with seeing

For you I will pray

Pray that you’re praying

Pray that some God’s listening to what I’m saying

Pray for your soul

Pray for your heart

And be thankful I can turn my pain into art

Pain that stems from what is hardest to swallow

Mourning the loss of someone who is still alive