Not to be noticed
When I am in the presence of the smaller and prettier types
I fade into the background
Unless I make my presence known
My friends they don’t understand
Why I have these thoughts of grief
And there he goes again
Walking my way, asking for the same dance
Not just any Waltz
A Waltz where no one else knows the steps but us
Excuse me, mister
Can I exchange a whisper?
I have some questions that
Only you have the answers to
Why is it that you know exactly when to make
your grand dramatic entrance and come to my rescue?
Why do you only appear to me when I’m feeling like
Miss Invisible and Miss Lonely?
“Because you are my Butterfly; your soul reached out to me.”
Is that your final answer?
This constant cycle that never ends
When I’m feeling apart of the background
You always pick me up like an abandon toy
from your childhood that you play with when you feel like it
You make me feel special long enough for me to rethink
Seven years of a constant battle
With no one fully winning
I’ve only had small victories
and you’ve had yours that still remind me that
that you’ve really never left
and how you refuse to fade into the background
Why is this war not over?
Must you know me so well?
know me in and out, my offense and defense
know that I can’t resists but to answer your calls
No matter how much they change my mood and irritate me
I know it keeps you from showing up for everyone to see you
Do what they know you’ve done to me
Even though you haven’t met this new Butterfly
You seem to clutch my wings
when I landed upon your finger
I want you to let me go
because I am no longer your Butterfly
I did not mean for my soul to reach out to you
I can no longer let this war continue
Why must you play on my vulnerability?
Why must you always know when I’m feeling lonely?
This Waltz can no longer be performed
This three-count that only you and I share can no longer be remembered
Must you contact me making the promises that give me false hope?
Once I come back to my senses.
I realize that they’re previous promises you’ve never kept
Like a knife, you cut open wounds
that bleed a love that no one else understands
I don’t know how to explain what they don’t understand
Because I don’t understand it myself
This is not love
This is not hate
This is something unexplainable
This is something I’m searching for an answer to
Why are you the only person with a penis that I’ll take this shit off of?
Because I never let anyone else treat me the way that you do
Why is that?
Is it because you expressed to me that you were born to tell me that you love me?
and the silly hopeless romantic in me lets me believe you?
Is it because amongst the skinner and prettier ones you picked me?
Could it be that because we take each other away from our
solidarity moments that makes us want to go back home?
You at least owe me that much.
You at least owe me that much.
I’m waiting for my answers
I can’t keep listening to Secondhand Serenade
In search of the truth
Reality is, you haven’t changed
You’re so pathetic that you haven’t
Even come up with new ways to lie
You’re a nuisance to my soul
An obstacle course I have yet to master
A repeatable battle
A Waltz that I know too well
And wish I didn’t
I will not raise the white flag; for I have too much pride
To give you what you want
So mister, what will it be?
One of us has to give in first.
Let me be the first to tell you,
IT WILL NOT BE ME!