Mr. G

You're the big man above looking down. While I, a mere mortal have spent my whole life looking up. Until one day I stopped. I believed my mom, I believed my pastor. "Just pray" they said-everything will be resolved faster. But where were you that fateful day when my childhood innocence was taken away? The day I cried and screamed out loud. When the man I trusted with all my heart went and tore me all apart. That was when my faith in you slipped away; I let loose the grip I had on you since my birthday. Where were you when my uncle was deported? When a young family was left to fend on their own? Where were you when my mom was staring down the barrel of a gun? Aimed at her by the men who were looking for her son. Where were you when I needed you most? I prayed and prayed to no avail all in the hopes of not going to hell. But what does that matter when I am living in it? When I have to wake up everyday and see him living his best life. I see my mom hurt and my cousins not know and I see them try not to let it show. I no longer know you, you're a stranger to me. You probably don't even exist. Because if you did, this pain I feel wouln't persist. I will continue to rely on myself like I always have. Yes, I'll be sad and yes, I will cry. But I'll also be happy and just live my life. Because I don't need you I don't need false hope. I have my friends and I have my family- in reality, that's all I need. You don't make change, I do. 

Sincerely, 

No longer broken