As Much As I May Want to Be

I want to be the one Who haunts your thoughts in those moments before sleep Who makes your heart flutter whenever I am near Who strikes a chord with you. I want to be the one Who will always have a special place in your heart Who you think is more beautiful than any other Who you regret hurting. Alas, I have never been that one for anyone I see others falling in love with others I fall for others as well, And it makes me wonder If anyone has thought of me in that special way. But I, a human, am plagued with doubt That fills me, flowing through my veins, from my heart To the furthest reaches of my fingertips. I want to explode with anxiety, but my skin holds it in And pressure fills me till I suffocate with fear. Am I the only one Who is merely lovely to the hunter's eye? A passing fancy until the true prize approaches? Am I merely bronze when I yearn with all my heart to be golden And reflect the beauty of the sun Blinding you with love? I know that others must feel as I do, But I also know that they are loved, For love is obvious to the observer And not to the one who is observed. A tragic fate is not to know. You say you love someone, And I wish it were me. But then I regret my wishes, Because I have a feeling Once again That I could never be the one As much as I may want to be.