My Advice

The first time, there was no fight, not a wrong or a right. It had stung just a bit, no punch, just a little hit. Not a drop of blood or a mark, but rather a swoop in the dark. I wanted to ask you to stop I could hear the echo of that pop but the words wouldn’t come out not a peep or a shout. I sat in shock, as I took another knock. You smiled while you stared at my pain, with an expression I could only describe as insane. In your showing of dominance you gained a sick, twisted confidence. I think you saw that for you I was always weak using your power in your hand sweeping across my cheek. When I finally did said no, you convinced me you weren't testing the limits that you could go. “It was just play, I would never treat you that way. I’m not one of those guys, I love you, look into my eyes.” And with those words it falsely made sense, our love just seemed so intense. You justified it so well, I was completely under your spell. Convinced abuse could never happen to me, I only saw what you wanted me to see. But then once more you decided I should get hurt and this one caused me to drunkenly blurt. “He hit me!” I cried, a deliberate attack to your pride. I thought maybe you would come to a public realization as you had warned me about telling others in a conversation. But despite my tearful plea, “He wouldn’t do that,” I heard everyone agree. “It’s not mistreatment, just another of their disagreements.” And I understand why no one got involved, with our constant fighting, everyone assumed it would soon be solved. Anyway, you were going to leave, surely I would get over it, I would not grieve. And even before you left I seemed to already be moving on, however the damage you caused was far from gone. And soon everyone easily forgot, so alone I built myself up, l healed and I fought. It took me some time to find strength, but now I can write this poem at great length. I want to tell you that I didn’t want everyone’s pity, I didn’t want to trash your name in this city. I had just wanted someone to tell you it was wrong, that you’re behavior didn’t prove you were strong. But now I can say it on my own, knowing that I am more mature and grown. I’m telling you it’s obvious and you should have known: whether a playful slap or a fist, or a bat you never hit a female, no excuse and there doesn’t need to be any detail. What you are is abusive so when you find that your way of showing “love” isn’t healthy or conducive, I have some good advice that is direct: show women more respect.