My apology

If it was up to me, 

I would've chose us. 

I always thought I should've fought harder and rose up, 

but I'll be damned if I let you say it

was an easy decision to make. 

And even though everyone clapping, 

and saying it was the best decision ever made, 

I still feel it was a mistake. 

Because with you,

I remember feeling like I could fly,

weightless, happy, safe, calm, 

feeling salvation in your truest arms. 

Maybe its cause I started drinking less, 

maybe it's because I started blaming myself for things 

that was my fault, 

but  I felt the need to call, repent, 

apologize for fore all those waster years spent hell-bent on saving me.