My Awakening

Something is stirring in my soul At first thought I’d call it an awakening But that’s just the first thing to come to mind When what’s on the tip of your tongue isn’t right Unless it’s your tongue touching mine But no, that’s a ghost of the past And a ghost of the future too If it hadn’t ended, would our fingers Still be entwined like a noose? The air is salty with synthesis A daiquiri of emotions swirled in my fist I could say I lost my train of thought But really that’s only half true You can’t lose something that never belonged to you That’s the thing you taught me best If I never had you I couldn’t have lost you So why am I looking towards where the pavement ends? This is how it all starts I’ve been alone for far too long It’s time for me to find the me That is painted on the empty canvas down the street That’s the thing you taught me best That art is my best escape So why am I looking to you for a push towards the end? Here are the words They’re nothing but attempts at a prose I only hope to one day share with you This is a little confusing Especially since I don’t have a ‘you’ to put you to You don’t exist anymore than my love for you does If you had a name, that might make this easier But since I haven’t met you yet I’ll save the introductions for later After all, this is my awakening This is the point where you lose me again And you could try to find me But you can’t find something That you never lost in the beginning That’s the thing you taught me best If I never had you I couldn’t have lost you So why am I looking towards where the pavement ends? This is how it all starts I’ve been alone for too long It’s time for me to find the me That is painted on the empty canvas That’s the thing you taught me best That art is my best escape So why am I looking to you for a push towards the end? Here are the words They’re nothing but attempts at a prose I only hope to one day share with you If I can find you at all