My Bed

My bed is big and soft and has too many pillows.

My bed is where I think too much, cry too much, worry too much.

I think about the past.

I remember every time a friend has drifted 

And I think about every time I found a new friend.

I remember how it felt when she told me she was worried about me

And how much I wanted to reassure her but I couldn’t.

Because I was worried about me too.

I cry over the present

I cry over the lack of progress in myself and in this country.

I cry about how much I wish I could tell everyone that I’m ok.

But most of all I cry out of fear that whatever I’m doing now is wrong.

I worry about the future

What if I AM doing everything wrong?

I am terrified of leaving my family for college

And even just graduating high school is scary enough.

What if I never figure out what I am going to do with my life?

My bed is big and soft and has too many pillows.

I think too much there, but it’s not always negative

One night, I thought about these thoughts and I realized

I think about the past, cry over the present and worry about the future

And all that means is I am not a kid anymore; 

I’m growing up.