My Belongings

If I were to die today,

And be judged by the objects I owned,

What would my life seem like to you?

What would you think of me?

How did I act?

Or what I was like?

...

Well, first you'd think I'm a lover

Or heartbroken

As to how many love poems I had written

You'd think I'm ahead of my age mentally

But very behind socially when you only see seven friends at my funeral

You'd think I had many responsibilities I couldn't have possibly juggled

Toddler toys and knocked over novels in my bedroom

With scattered papers,

Stacked books, and endless folders in the den

You'd think the den was my hiding space

Ever so often you finding hidden objects that seemed to be disturbed before

But left behind neatly

You'd think I was OCD

As some things were in certain places

In certain ways

And little left astray

You'd think I was depressed

As you viewed the cleanliness of things

And the neatness of small objects

But find my death letters

And heartbreaks

And drawings of my monster I still had yet to meet...

You'd know I liked music a lot

As you viewed an acoustic guitar inside

Tuned to G standard

As well as old tattered papers with lyrics written on them

You'd know I loved my brothers

Because they were practically in every poem

That wasn't about a girl or pain or myself or a friend

You'd know I learned to love, but not from god

My heart had to be hurt for love to blossom within it  

You'd know I was a hopeless romantic

And was still in love with the same girl

I had known for 3 years

Then found love in her this year

She is my rising sun and late night texting

You'd know I was quirky and weird

Based on the themes of the books I had read

And the content of the things I had written at random

You'd know I was deep thinker, a writer

As you view the markings in my scrapings

And in the poems I never did finish

You'd think I was happy all the time

When you viewed the old school photos of myself

But realize there were no pictures of me in my phone

I couldn't stand my own reflection...

If you thought of these proposals

And assumptions, you were right

You are correct about everything

Yes, you'd know who I was very clearly through my belongings

But you had yet to experience me

You'd never know the vividness of my own memories

The ones I will die with,

Did, in this case.