To My Biggest Fear

Dear Failure,

I remember when we first met,

It was during the 6^th grade spelling bee

and you were my greatest opponent

That night you won against me

I haven’t been able to forget

your heartless defeat since

Did you know you’re what

keeps me up at night

The thought of you makes my blood

run cold and my knees weaken

I grit my teeth and sink my head deeper into

the pillow, but thoughts of you still remain

They are as unrecognizable as an

elephant on my chest

When I wake to a clammy skin and

my limbs being unable to move

I know you’re what’s creeping in the corner of my eye

I see you there

Mocking me, making me the biggest joke

The biggest unreached potential

The biggest what could’ve been

I fear what you could make out of me

Some days

I practice staring you in the eyes again

like I did that night in sixth grade

But you have haunted me this far

and staring at myself in the mirror is as if I was

 looking into your eyes

I feel myself morphing into you

 I don’t think it’s inevitable anymore

You have drained all the passion left in me

I have no other purpose here

I don’t think I ever did

but maybe it’s because I let you become my

Greatest companion and not my untolerable fear

Love always,

The biggest “what if” you could’ve made out of a person, G.S