My Biggest Fear

At the risk of tarnishing my obviously Macho Man demeanor I have a confession to make....

I Am A Coward.

Now I know that fear is a natural human emotion, but I fear that fear has engulfed my very being.

I live each day doing all that I am physically and mentally able to do to get a leg up on competiton while still managing to squeeze in an impossible feat or two to fight the fear of defeat, No podophobia.

As I beat my feet I'm on my last legs runnning inch by painstaking inch in hopes it all measures up to a feat that you can praise me for.

I admit I need attention more shoot me, my mind is rich with precious thoughts and you should take the time to loot me, don't elude me..... my biggest fear is being lost and I want yours to be to lose me.

All I'm asking is that someone please care. I'm all alone in this world caged behind bars of indifference watching my insecurities roam free. Claiming to be a voice for the voiceless, yet somehow I get choked up when it's time I spoke for me.

Incredible cowardice the type to leave you powerless I'm searching for any inner prowess to help devour this. I'm the shy soul so timid terribly terrified stuck on back burners and blackened until unclarified I Am The Dream Deferred....

Only I did not shrivel like a raisin in the sun or fester then run or sag like a heavy load or explode         I simply vanish.... oblivious to the fact that I have been wisked away to oblivion; sounds like a nightmare on elm street clawing at my psyche, but I refuse to be refuse because somebody's got to like me.

Long story short I care what you think of me, so forget my flaws, forgive my inadequacy, shun my procrastinating mannerisms and ignore my weaknesses. I know that I can do better its just, sometimes I don't know how to.

But whatever it is that is broken about me I'll fix, glue it up and tape it down until you can barely notice that this shattered version of me is mostly cracked.

My biggest fear is not that I will remain broken because nothing is perfect, it is not that one day I will inevitably perish  because nothing lasts forever, My biggest fear is that when my demise arises from out of the blue I will be lost and forgotten by him, her and you for my existence means nothing if I am nothing to you.... I Am A Coward..... and I need you to love me.