My Boys

To My Confsued Heart,

To love two people at once is a myth they say,

But they don't know the two boys I love.

One has my heart, and the other,

I wish had it sometimes.

They are opposite of eachother, 

These two boys, my boys.

One is calm, patient. His words are gentle,

Like soothing waves washing over you

On a hot summers day.

He is like a wall, sure and solid.

And like a wall, I can trust he won't leave.

His kisses send shivers down my spine, 

My whole self I have given to him.

The plans we have made for the future,

Are as real as the paper I am writing on.

But, why do I hesitate and second guess 

The plans I have made with this boy, my love?

Beause though this boy has my heart,

He does not have every piece.

A small piece belomgs to someone else.

The other boy I love unknowingly holds a piece of my heart.

Stubborn and fiery,

This boy captivates me.

He is a bird,

One moment I feel I have him 

And the next,

All I have are feathers, memories,

From a bird long gone.

Your heart, like mine, is being held by another.

Do you kiss her the way you could kiss me?

Though hard and guarded to the outside world,

You look upon me as if I am a lighthouse.

A beacon in the dark, safety.

You've been lost from your lighthouse for sometime now.

Sailing aimlessly among the stars.

I never truly had you, 

But I wish I did.

For that I am forever sorry.

To love two people is messy and confusing,

But I cannot stop my heart.

Like a compass, my heart spins out of control,

Trying to find it's direction.

I hope one day, my darling confused heart, you find your home. 

Sincerely Yours,

Payton