My Brothers Keeper

What subjects do I excel in?

Ha it's funny you ask

Excelling

Excelling is the only option I have

To survive mentally, physically , and emotionally

Staying calm cool and collective ..

Becoming a superhero to everyone in need

The helping hand, the one who can never say no

But, somehow I'm the student that does it all

Captain of Cheer

Dance and

Mock Trial

Wait ! oh no,  you can't forget:

National Honor Society or Student Council!

Wait OH no there's one more...

I'm even top of my class!

I excel in all subjects of school

Well life's a different story!

Keeping a hyper, jolly, humbling, modest, industrious and gregarious attitude

Giving you the "ideal girl" you see on TV

I am the girl that everyone praises but

then again envies.

This girl you see is simply comparable to

the Great Wall of China

Scared of being weakened by trust

Allowing her alter ego to take over

To cover up the chaotic disaster inside

Spoken by the best

"There is no greater agony and bearing an untold story inside of you" Maya Angelou

So what's my story who really wants to know?

This is not a story;  it's my life!

Staring into my reflection

Trying to work it all out

Fighting hard to get the imagery and the echoing of words out of my head

"What happens in this house stays in this house"

The mental and physical abuse having to endure on a  daily basis

Next thing I know I'm being bashed to the wall

Bang. Bang. Bang.  

Slowly sliding to the floor I can't think or move

It's like I'm In a coma

Having a decision to make

Tired of fighting

Tired of trying

Tired of pretending

Until I see his next victim

The reason I continue to live in this hell

My brothers

The only ones I truly love

The only ones that know the real me

I am their protector

Finally getting up jumping, yelling

Leave them alone

Tears fall

My head is pounding

The feelings of guilt, hurt, shame, and defeat

Seem to overcome me

Heavy breathing

Then all at once

I suck it up. And smile

Putting on my mask of societies ideal girl

It's easier to smile then try to explain something that can't be comprehended by the common

Tired of hearing all it'll get better

Desperately needing some help

Just deciding to let it be

Fear is distressing emotion aroused by impending danger

It lives within us all

Is it the fear that I have of doing things all on my own

No

It's the fear of having to look into my brothers' eyes

Seeing the disappointment, and a silent cry for help

That is what I can't bear

Always learning to make something out of nothing

I am their hope

They are my rocks

They are the reason why I excel

Excel in all subjects of school

They are the reason for the calm cool and collective attitude

I like to present

I am my brothers' keeper

And I will do anything to protect them

Me being their hope

Hope of a better life