MY Childhood

 Purple clock over the feeling, constantly picked on a wall over her heart,

Bottled up everything inside She hides her tears from eyes and numbs the pain in heart

 At night Memories still hover, words acts like blade

Having alexithymia fidgety dread sleeps, Dreams become nightmare

 It’s hard enough for her, but won’t let other see her pain and falling apart

Won’t let them know what she holds, her fear Feel like always committing a crime 

Not allowed to show negative emotions, laughs by day yet cry by night Emotions become invalided,

Always criticized and rejected, neglected herself, she never felt good enough

 Everything has a label feeling helpless the Guilt eats from inside

Yelled, screamed and beaten after it the racing heart feels numb

 Feel like a failure, have cursed with binge obesity that she lug all night, starve for obsessive perfection

 The lump formed in throat Boulder of silence helpless still in mouth crying lonely hopeless

Overwhelmed broken, lost somewhere strife no I don’t hate my life well maybe sometimes,

No she don’t want attention, could you just go away, trying hard to push through

 Surrendering to darkness full of sadness drowning in pain taught herself to keep afloat

 Fight goes through every day mind was the canvas, thoughts were brush and eyes were paint

 A chance to escape plight, scars screams for her, the old wounds have sympathy

 Still can’t see through my lies, fight in my head push others away

And when morning comes she will pretend she is alright, maybe she can pretend to be ok then everything will be just great

The poor girl was going through and if sometimes she cried then don’t worry, she swear she is hopeless fine

And her story ends sadly