My Curse
Location
You ask why I write.
So that I feel what was lost,
feel the pain once mine.
I feel nothing now,
no pain happiness nothing.
I feel not a thing
Why am I like this?
Because I sought to be this,
to be rational.
I sought out this state,
my endless curse is my own.
I wished this on myself.
Why search out this life?
Why throw away all feelings?
So that I might live.
The pain had grown great.
It was always present then,
night and day, it stayed.
I was at a loss.
I became more desperate,
to be free of pain.
Pain that would not cease.
Just to be free of it all,
I would give up all.
And then all was lost,
the pain was gone, I was free.
I was overjoyed...
or I should have been.
The pain didn't leave alone,
all I had was lost.
Pain is part of life.
Without pain there is no life,
it ceases to be.
I lost my life then.
I could not even regret,
for regret was lost.
It escaped notice.
It took a couple of days,
but then it hit me.
What greatness was loss.
Despair would have taken me,
but that had gone to.
You ask why I write.
To know what was lost to me,
why I can't feel you.