My Curse

Mon, 12/29/2014 - 17:21 -- sarongz

I’ve lost those I cared for, none of them were good byes,

Weather I was betrayed or pushed them away being unwise,

All along I choose to believe that those people didn't matter,
They’d be out of my life as time separates us from one another.

I was surrounded and had it all forgetting to focus on my goals,
But I was blind and a true fool for they cared only for themselves,

When they left me all alone instead of seeing it for what it was,
I blamed them for letting it happen, not learning from its results.

Then I was alone and had no company,
In a place that was new and didn't quite fit me,
I focused on my own and got where I should be,

Ignoring my loneness, trying to let time fix things.

Now reaching this other stage I thought that that was it,
That I had it all figured out and I'd find a midpoint.

But for reasons unclear, I still lose people I thought dear,
Different environment, different times,
Different case, Same old curse.         

Now I acknowledge it, the thing I haven’t noticed for so long,
But why is this curse following me? What am I doing so wrong?
I thought the whole world was against me or I was exaggerating it alone,
That I shouldn't have feelings, I should cover my heart with a stone,
For some time I did, not knowing that the pain was simply suppressed.
While I said others pointed their finger and never looked at themselves,
I did the same, forgetting I could only control my own actions.

Thus I will stop blaming other things for my misery,
Now that I'm staring at my curse directly, 
I will first start by changing me.

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