To my Dad

To my Dad: 

Well this isn’t exactly how we wanted to start 2018, but we know this disease all to well and this cancer picked the wrong family to mess with. We will get through this. You have so many people supporting you, praying for you, and waiting for you to get back into that brown and gold uniform (I think they even would take a ticket)”Work all day and work all night, just keeping law and order. If I write you out a ticket you better drive slow. I’m working for the state, I’m the highway patrol”.  As I have heard from many people (and I already knew) you are strong, stronger then you know, and you will show this cancer that you are the boss. 35 radiation treatments with Dr. Collector, 3 chemo treatments… just watch your countdown calendar and the end will be here sooner then you know.

As a kid (you know as well as I do) we often take our parents for granted and don’t realize what we have until something threatens us. “Some Mommas and Daddy’s let their heartstrings tear and tangle, some of us get stuck, and some of us grow up in a love triangle…” but I wouldn’t trade my love triangle for the world, and it isn’t about to be broken up anytime soon. It’s been Me and You against the world for around 17 years, this is just another mountain to be climbed. Like I said the other day I’m glad She is stepping up and helping you out since I will be back a school, but just remember its You and Me against the word, and I’ll always be on your side. So for all the people that are praying for You and Her (but not Me), screw you all. Every dream team needs a water boy, I’ll allow her to play that role. And I suppose she does need a lot of prayers that I don’t kill her.

Frank Sinatra said, “That’s life, that’s what people say, your riding high in April and shot down in may. But I know I’m gonna change that tune, when I’m back on top, back on top in June!”

Bette Midler said, “ You were content to let me shine, that’s your way. You always walked a step behind.  So I was the one with all the glory, and you were the one with all the strength. A beautiful face without a name for so long. A beautiful smile to hide the pain. Did you ever know that you’re my hero and everything I would like to be? And I can fly higher than an eagle, because you are the wind beneath my wings.” And you and I both know that there is a great lady in heaven who is forever the wind beneath both our wings, who isn’t going to let us fail.

Another song you might know now (because it actually has words) is, “I will cling to the old rugged cross, and exchange it some day for a crown”. But your someday isn’t anytime soon so you just keep your cross tattoo and wait awhile until you get that crown, because I’m not ready to give up my old rugged cross yet.

Here is something that you don’t know and I was also going to share the essays with you, but when my computer crashed I lost them all. Every college I’ve ever applied to asks for an essay on something that has changed your outlook on life. Writing an essay on that topic has never been a challenge for me, and got me into every undergraduate and every graduate school I applied to. The topic of my essays has always been “you can walk with a limp, and live with a little pain” and the event that has changed my life was your accident. You have shown me what it is like to be working a field that you truly love, and regardless to what happens your only goal after the wreck was to get back to work. That speaks thousands of words, for someone to be injured on the job, and the only thing they cared about was going back to work. So even though it might have been more of Mom pushing me to get good grades and be greater then the average student, all my off acceptances fall back on you for showing me what it means to have a great work ethic, and to love what you do.

I remember as a kid always going to Jaarsmas and getting doughnut holes, listening to George Strait and going to the park. So just know that once you have this cancers ass kicked “ I don’t want to be the kind to hesitate, be to shy or way to late….. I wanna dance with you twirl you all around the floor, that’s what they intended dancing for, I just wanna dance with you” on June 23, 2018 (where I’m not convinced I’m giving up this last name but maybe adding some hyphenation to it) I wanna dance with you.  So if your ready, and I’m ready lets kick this cancer to the curb and show it to not come around these bloodlines ever again!

Love,

Your forever little girl