My Daughter Won't Ever Be Like Me

My daughter won’t ever be like me.

My daughter won’t ever be sad.

My daughter won’t ever get abused.

My daughter won’t ever feel like simply existing is a fate worse than death.

My daughter won’t ever have to live with one full time parent and one part-time parent.

My daughter won’t ever have to go through years of emotional trauma.

My daughter won’t ever have to grow up fearing love because all she knows is her parents’ broken love.

My daughter won’t ever be closed off because of something a step parent said or did to her when nobody was looking.

My daughter won’t ever swear off having children forever for fear that they will be as miserable as she was when she was a child.

My daughter won’t ever fear love.

My daughter won’t ever doubt herself or look to her peers for the attention she lost in the wake of her mother’s latest.

My daughter will never experience any of the ugliness of the world, because my daughter won’t ever exist.

Daughter, I’m sorry. I’ve decided to count you out as a future possibility for your own benefit. I’ve decided to erase all traces of you from my mind or my heart because I don’t want you living with my demons like I lived with my mom’s. I am only doing this because I love you.