To my dear depressing thoughts,

To my dear depressing thoughts,

 

You’ve been apart of my life for so long.

Living, breathing and hurting inside of me.

Its been awhile since I’ve felt you.

I’m sure you’ve come back to open my wounds again.

 

You always start to make sudden plans.

Most of the time it’s in my room. Alone.

I think I’m starting to like the silence.

Somehow you manage to keep me away from friends and family.

 

My mother asked about us again.

She asked if you were ok.

 

I pretended to smile and said “yes”.

I don’t think she believed me.

She pretended she did…

 

I am starting to breath better.

 

Before, I use to let out a mist breath of air,

like a part of my soul leaving my body.

I’m laying and crying while I cope with you on my side.

I know you will never leave.

I am slowly going insane by your silence.

 

My mother asked about us again.

She asked if you were hungry.

 

I pretended and said “yes”.

You sat across the table,

watching and laughing at me

because you knew I wasn’t hungry.

 

Did I tell you about my dream the other night?

You were planning the days to come back to me.

You have a list of my regrets, mistakes, and insecurities,

and began to read them loud and clearly.

 

You asked me to give to you my strength.

I am left with just my weakness.

I am unable to feel anything anymore.

 

You are like a black hole,

dark

scary

and lonely.

 

Its been so long now,

since I’ve heard from you.

This isn’t a love letter anymore,

more like a f*ck off letter.

 

I’ll shut the door and never let you inside of me.

You will not bring me down like you did to my father.

 

I have met someone new.

Self-Love is her name.

She loves everything about me.

I am more confident now.

Did you notice?

 

I’m a garden filled with roses and tulips,

blossoming so beautifully.

 

This is my final sincere goodbye.

 

Ashley Guzman

 

P.S

Self-love, I have been waiting for you, my whole life.

 

This poem is about: 
Me
Guide that inspired this poem: 
Poetry Terms Demonstrated: 

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741