My Deepest Fear

I am afraid of him. I hide behind closed doors. From the pain I’m feeling, I yell “Please, please no more.” I hide behind the screaming That my daddy used to do, Hiding the me Who wants to be true. Lost in the past, Reflections in tears my eyes have cried, It feels that I have failed, Though not to I have tried. I remember how he used to scream Or ignore me as if I wasn’t there, How he stole the money for the drugs, We had nothing extra to share. He inflicted me with pain, With all this mental abuse, I’m trapped, I’ve had to have therapy for years, I’m emotionally handicapped. My brain says I don't have a father, But my heart, it says he’s there, Both of these agree though that he is my deepest fear.