My depression

My depression is back My mind has clouds again I'm waking in fog Not knowing where I'm going Not knowing my on emotions anymore My mind Is going dark I'm scared to go back there I don't want to think like I usto I don't want to go back into that room I'm shutting everyone out I'm going into my bubble I want to be alone But at the same time I want to go out I don't like routines I don't like it at all It scares me Is this why my life has come too? I do like knowing what I will do next But I don't like that things won't change I'm all about change Want something new everyday But if it's the same over and over I become bored I become mute My depression is back I recently had the thought again What if I keep driving No turns no stops no looking back Where would I end up? Would anyone come looking for me? Would I get into trouble? Would my family put me back into therapy? Would they ignore it and say it's an M thing? Would I hurt more people if I did it? My depression is back