My Depression: A Tall Tale

He asked me plenty of times to be happy

Yet he doesn't realize that for me “being happy” is like going to space without a spacesuit

“Being happy” for me is more than just turning on a switch to unlock certain emotions

I explained to him that it was not easy for me

And he chuckled. He chuckled loud as to say that I had said the funniest joke

But I didnt, I spoke a truth, and he laughed

He told me that it was easy to be happy, that all I had to do was think of good memories

For me it was impossible, it was way harder than climbing Mount Everest without any oxygen

Suffocation, everytime I tried looking back at good memories I felt suffocated

I looked at him, with confusion, How can I think about all the good memories?

When Depression the antagonist, has been swirling all the bad memories in my head!

He looked at me with sadness and he said, “So you don't love me? I don't make you happy?

And right then I knew that this depression has done it again, taking someone I loved away

I told him he did make me happy at times, when depression allowed me 15 mins of happiness

And this tale that I’ve been trying to explain to him turned into frustration

He will never understand that when he wants to love me, depression wants to keep me under

When he wants to kiss me, depression plays all the memories of every guy who has hurt me

When he says I love you, depression shuts my mouth and threatens to hurt me if I speak

So when I told him that he made me happy at times, all he heard was “at times”

“At times” I could love, but “at times” I didn’t. No! I scream and I tell him that it wasn’t like that

But it seems like he has taken my depression as Tall Tale. An unrealistic exaggeration

And he drifts away from me everytime we meet

And he can never understand that he was the only reminder that life could get better

That I can overcome this Depression

But once my depression turns to a Tall Tale, nothing that comes from my mouth is a true reality

I don't blame him for not understanding because I don't even understand this depression

This depression that has been surrounding my body every time I wanted to love.

The reality of my relationships with people are the tall tale of my depression to them