My Fault

He told me it was my fault 

He told me everything I did led up to my assault 

Seven years old and painfully alone 

Already grown 

Unsafe,Unrealizing,Unheard. 

My fault 

Always my fault

He "wasnt a bad person" 

Am i sure it was him, it didnt seem like something he would have done

I always wondered why they blamed the kid

I thought they would believe me, but no one really did

I've heard dozens of survival stories 

Forgotten families 

But am I really a survivor or did my body just flee the scene

It can never be clean

Maybe I'm still trapped there, silent and unmoving 

Barely breathing, my own self soothing

Maybe I can still feel him because I deserve to 

Maybe I didn't do all I could do

Sleep is not rest anymore

I am no longer a kid, at least not how I was before

Every bone in my body gives out

praying to God, my own faith riddled with doubt

But its MY fault