my favorite book

My favorite book

 

She is like a book I checked out at the library.

Hard cover and slightly damaged

She's just as old as I am, but she's been dropped in puddles, has missing pages and bent edges

Like a mystery, she's meant to be broken.

And I'll be honest, I'm not much of a reader but she has dragged me into her never ending passages of magnificence..

Harder to read than a college text book

Abstract like Hodgkins Going For A Walk

She's not meant to be understood.

But she lets me go at my own pace

And I find myself lost flipping torn up pages, searching for a single flaw

I can read her all day, at night I like to lie beside her and skim through her just to see if things have changed, and every time I open her, she surprises me with mystery. 

She captivates me with her words, she never promises a happy ending but she does guarantee adventure

I like to know what's next but I adore how she's unpredictable

There is a part of her missing and I can not get myself to write the last chapter, her destiny lies in her own cover

Pages that were ripped long before me, her front page is dedicated to somebody

But she likes how I turn her pages softly, gently as if she was made of sunflower petals.

That I won't rip off because it doesn't matter if she loves me not.

The way her bend up spine tries to hold everything together, 

she can't help but fall apart. She doesn't know any better

But I'll renew her until the librarian tells me that I can just keep her

When I memorize her story backwards and grow bored with it, I will read her again to remind myself how amazing she is

I'll read her until I can make an ending for both of us, and ending written by her

And if along the way all of the words inside her are smudged by my tears and permanently vanished and all of her pages turn yellow and are no longer in order,

I'll still hold her when she falls apart.

But when paper cuts grow deeper than curiosity, and fascinating is too hard to admire, when your favorite book leaves you in the same condition it's in. Fractured.

Put it back on a shelf, and stare at the beautiful disaster of a fairytale and know, that you can't fix everything.

That no matter how tight you hold, the weight of her words will always be heavy.

and I can not search for aspiration in her pages, or long to be a part of her ending. 

There are many books in a library

But she's still my favorite 

She is an intriguing story, that is meant to be unfinished.