My first

Location

Eleven years old

Slipped into the basement with my boyfriend

Dated for nine months

Looked for a tuner

Talked about alcoholism

Kissed for the very first time

 

Eleven years old

Sitting in my room with my best friend

Triple dog dared me to kiss her

I did

She’s straight

I’m bi

 

Twelve years old

In a tent with my best friend

Woke up in the night and she touched me

She’s still straight

I’m still bi.

 

Thirteen years old

Pinned to a couch by my boyfriend

Two years, seven months

His fingers are in me

I’m crying.

He wanted it

I didn’t.

 

Fourteen years old

On my new boyfriend’s floor

I’m telling him
“please fuck me”
like it’ll fix me.

a few minutes later

I’m still broken

 

Sixteen years old

Newest girlfriend is sitting in my my lap

We are both clad only in underwear

I can see her tanned skin under the moonlight

Her lips on my neck
“i love you.”
I think I know what it means to make love

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